The Power of Everyday Rituals
How do we infuse a sense of the sacred into everyday life... and why might we want to?
This is a question I’ve been somewhat obsessed with for decades. It started back in my early teens, when I began to question my Catholic upbringing. I remember feeling drawn to the rich layers of ritual and ceremony, but admit I wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic about the institution itself.
Long after leaving the Church, my yearning for an intentional form of spirituality lived on. I wanted a deeper connection to the Great Mystery in my everyday life but wasn’t sure how to cultivate it on my own.
And no wonder! In many religious traditions, an intermediary between ourselves and Spirit is required: a priest, guru or guide. Growing up Catholic, I wasn’t sure I had the right to just make up my own traditions and beliefs.
The research shows that Americans are participating far less in organized religion these days, though we’re no less “spiritual” than generations past. But in the absence of shared community practices that evoke a sense of the sacred, we’re called upon to discover them for ourselves.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard
What I’ve discovered on my own journey is that life is filled with opportunity for creating meaning through personal rituals. But before I turn to the practical business of “how”, let’s begin with the why.
What is ritual, and why is it important?
Ritual and ceremony are ancient human practices. When we participate in ritual, either alone or with a group, we’re in essence putting together the pieces of our lives, engaging actively in our own growth and development.
Rituals differ from our habits and routines. Here’s how:
A routine is a set of habitual actions, often motivated by efficiency. An example of this might be the sequence of activities you typically perform when you get up in the morning.
A ritual, on the other hand, is a carefully selected way of doing things. It’s an action or practice that’s infused with intention and meaning. A morning ritual might look like setting aside 10 minutes to intentionally drink your cup of coffee while reading something that inspires you to start the day.
From a pragmatic point of view, ritual offers a means of marking time and life passages. It helps us form a deeper sense of personal identity, facilitates the expression of emotions, and aids in processing our experiences.
This feels especially poignant right now. Is it just me, or has Pandemic Life sometimes felt like an endless repetition of Groundhog’s Day?
Over the past 2 years, we’ve experienced a disruption in both our personal routines as well as broader community experiences. While the word ritual is often associated with religious practices, the truth is we find it everywhere we turn. Secular rituals that help us mark the passage of time and make meaning can be as simple as first day of school photos, graduation and retirement parties, and sporting events.
We’re in what’s known as Liminal Space right now: the time between “what was” and “what’s next”.
Many indigenous societies intentionally cultivate the liminal through Rites of Passage ceremonies. Walking through the “in between” typically includes navigating a physical, mental, and spiritual challenge that’s designed to transform us in some way.
The psychological reality of this collective Covid-19 liminal space is that unlike a Rite of Passage, there’s no clearly defined beginning, middle, or end. We also didn’t step through this threshold voluntarily. And yet, here we are.
Ritual offers one way we can support ourselves through liminal space. By finding creative ways to mark time and progress, you can generate a sense of meaning and purpose - even during what feels like suspended time.
What if I don’t believe in “God” or “magic”?
“Enchantment isn’t about magical thinking; it is about being fully present in the world.” – Sharon Blackie
For all you scientists and data hounds out there (I see you!), I did some investigation on the efficacy of rituals. Research studies published by Scientific American back up what humans have known for time immemorial: Rituals Work!
Check out some of these findings:
Rituals performed after experiencing a loss alleviate grief
Rituals before high pressure tasks such as public speaking reduce anxiety and increase confidence
From the world of sports psychology research, pre-game rituals improve attention and execution
Rituals with friends and family produce feelings of greater closeness
Rituals performed with our partner reinforce commitment to each other
Participating in rituals lowers cortisol, which leads to lower heart rate and blood pressure and immune function improvement
And here’s another fun fact: The research shows that rituals appear to benefit even those who don’t believe rituals work!
So, how do we apply this in a practical way?
An easy place to start is to look at where you might like to shift from a routine to a ritual.
For me, that’s meant a recommitment to my morning practice. I noticed that whenever I start my day by reaching for my phone, I feel disconnected from myself. I’m more scattered and disorganized. Less content and focused. But when I start my day with a cup of tea on the front porch, I feel centered. After listening to nature for a few minutes and breathing in the new day, I roll more purposefully into doing the things that are most important to me.
Other everyday routines that can be turned into rituals include:
Morning and bedtime practices
Preparing food
Eating
Exercise
Daily/weekly planning
Bathing
Cleaning the house
In order to create a personal ritual, you need just 3 ingredients: intention, protected time, and sacred space. The rest is up to you!
For some ideas on how to structure a personal ritual, check out these articles here on the blog. I’ve posted several pieces to get the juices flowing:
I also facilitate monthly Moon Circles online for a small group of participants to come together and experience the power of ritual in community. If you’d like to check one out, you can access the details and see an upcoming schedule of offerings by following the link below.
Want a partner in your unique process?
As a coach, one of the ways I work with my clients is to help them create personal rituals to catalyze change, release old patterns and habits, and call in whatever it is that you’re hoping to create. Together with techniques from the field of positive psychology, this approach can pack a powerful one-two punch!
If this sounds like the kind of support you’re craving, I invite you to sign up for my enewsletter below to receive monthly tips and strategies, or schedule a complimentary Discovery Call to explore the possibilities of working together.
