How To Create A Sacred Year-End Retreat
This is without a doubt my favorite week of the year. While the period between Christmas and New Year can feel like a funky in-between time, I’ve chosen to transform this liminal space into a magic cave.
More than a decade ago I developed the practice of going into retreat after the holidays. It’s a time of rest, reflection, and magical thinking - a spiritual holiday that I’ve crafted piece by piece over the years.
The whole thing began organically, as just a few hours of reflection on December 31st. In the old days, I used that time for setting resolutions… until I figured out that those did not actually work for me. (Here’s what does instead!)
It grew from there. Experimenting with my focus, and expanding the amount of time I gave it. One afternoon grew to a weekend: one day for reflecting on the year behind, another for envisioning the year ahead.
And then it grew again.
My soul just keeps asking for more space, and I’m all too happy to oblige. This year, I decided to give more than a full week to this practice – no work, outside obligations, commitments, or plans from December 25 - January 5th. Well, except for peeking out of my cave for a bit to write this blog!
When it comes to taking a personal retreat, I’ve found that saying “no” to work, invitations, activities and opportunities is the hardest part. But if I honor the call to stop and go inward, if I give up a few of the other things I’d also like to do and tasks I “should” perform, I am always richly rewarded.
The ingredients I’m bringing to the blank canvas of this week include:
The view from inside my hermit cave
my journal
writing prompts
art supplies
long walks
a liberal supply of tea and chocolate
wide open hours to stare out the window or into the fire
naps
With this blog, I wanted to share some of the tools for reflection I’m using these days, along with an invitation to carve out a little time to nourish your own heart and soul.
You don’t need to take off a week like I do, amazing as that may be. A single afternoon, or several smaller blocks of time over a series of days will do. Perhaps just holding ONE of the questions from the resources below and pondering it as you go about your daily life is all you need at this time. You’ll know.
Resources for YOUR Winter Retreat
Unravel Your Year by Susannah Conway -This free booklet is a goldmine – 30 pages of writing prompts and activities to reflect on your lessons from 2021 and dream into the year ahead. You can plow through all the questions as I’m doing this week, or pick and choose a few to play with.
A Good Look by Oh Happy Dani - A short and playful reflection tool that includes prompts for choosing a theme word for 2022.
The Threshold 2022 by Lindsay Mack - For those who work with tarot, this is a lovely tool for reflecting on the energies of 2021’s Hierophant year, and stepping into the year of The Lovers. It’s a nourishing, accessible course with Lindsay’s unique Soul Tarot approach to growth and evolution.
Winter Rituals for Reflection & Release - This short blog outlines my annual process for reflection and release, and the rituals I typically perform along with journal prompts. I’ve changed the timeline for my own practice this year, bowing to an instinctive call to start later, go slower, and do less. Which means I’m in the process of rewriting what I’ve been doing for the last decade! Instead of starting in early December, I’m using this week as my time to reflect. Next week, I’ll be dreaming my way into the year ahead.
Un-Resolved - In this article, I share ideas about how to reframe the practice of making New Year’s Resolutions into something more supportive and fulfilling. If you like creating goals, but want some tools to help choose the right ones I’d recommend this podcast series by my teachers, Noelle Cordeaux and John Kim: Using Goal Setting Theory to Create Resolutions that Last. (Pssst… I wrote the blog that accompanies it!)
Rest is Subversive - Should you feel like doing nothing at all, I salute you. Being human is not a perpetual self-improvement project.
Yeah, but…
When I share sacred practices, this phrase is what often comes up in response. The mind tends to poke holes in possibilities. It jumps to why this or that just won’t work… obligations, deadlines, competing priorities, etc.
Just get curious about it if this arises for you. Western society (and our grind culture) elevate the mind as supreme. But the brain is not always the most trustworthy source of information. The "Yeah, buts" usually come from the limbic region, a primitive base of operations that seeks to protect the status quo.
Believe me, I get it. I used to be the QUEEN of "Yeah, But". And you know what? It kept me stuck. Grinding my gears. Dreaming of - but not really living - the life I wanted.
If you want something you've never had before, you've got to be someone you have never been.
That means making different choices, one small step at a time. The choices that ultimately changed the direction of my life were microscopic at first - 5 minutes of meditation, inconsistently. A cup of tea on the porch before rushing off to work. But lord almighty, do those steps add up. Give me imperfect action over unfulfilled intentions any day.
So if the idea of stepping into your own magical hermit cave calls to you, try to give it some space over the weeks ahead. Find it. Claim it. Demand it if you must.
These days, I say yes to my soul's longings like my life depends on it. Because it does.
I am grateful to the Past Me who said yes. The one who told her inner critic and the outside naysayers to shove it. The one who reprioritized and made room. The brave one whose decisions brought me to this moment, living a life that exceeds my former hopes and expectations.
I spent a lot of time in ritual and initiation this year, answering Spirit’s persistent call. It was neither convenient nor easy, requiring effort and will to override my brain’s constant litany of “Yeah, buts”. My teachers and guides demanded everything I have to give… which was more than I even knew I had. And if there’s one holy message I received along the way, one overriding mainline communication from the Divine, it is this:
Follow Your Joy.
Your joy is where the magic lives. In the name of all that is sacred, make space for it my friend.
Say your holy YES.
WANT a partner in the process?
As a coach, one of the ways I work with my clients is to help them create personal rituals to catalyze change, release old patterns and habits, and call in whatever it is that you’re hoping to create. Together with techniques from the field of positive psychology, this approach can pack a powerful one-two punch!
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