Imbolc: Shining Light In Dark Places
In the Celtic wheel of the year, today is Imbolc– the halfway point between Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox.
The days are gradually lightening up, and those first signs of spring are starting to emerge. A few weeks ago the Witch Hazel were blooming, sun shining bright. Then yesterday I woke up to a dusting of snow on the ground.
Talk about cognitive dissonance! Or is it?
As part of my daily practice, I try to spend some time outdoors each morning. Bare feet on the ground, breathing in the day. Rain or shine. And what I’ve been noticing are the ways in which the outer world has been mirroring my inner experience.
Tender shoots of possibility seeking the light in a seemingly inhospitable landscape.
Over the last few months, I’ve felt the acute pressure of winter’s hand on my body. The call to give way to what’s expiring inside me. To rest and grieve its passage.
This is how we germinate new life in the dark: by cooking the compost first.
A few months ago, the voice of inner wisdom told me something I didn’t want to hear. Quite simply, that I would need to dive all the way to the bottom of the well of grief in order to come out the other side.
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I just needed to keep diving, and trust in two things along the way: that I wouldn’t hit a dead end way down in that darkness, and that I would not drown in the process.
It’s been a long, turbulent ride and I know I’m not done yet. But here’s what I can say without a moment’s hesitation:
I am strong enough to meet my deepest fears. I am strong enough to face painful truths. I am strong enough to swim through unknown waters. I am strong enough to dream new dreams, even in the absence of light.
How To Swim In the Dark
Over time, I’ve developed a whole set of resources for navigating hard times with more ease and grace. I’ve put together a trusty "Self Soothing Kit" that I can reliably turn to when it seems like the howling internal winter is never gonna end.
When my clients are really in the thick of their phoenix burn, stuck in that limbo place where it feels like there’s no clear path forward and nothing seems to make sense, we pause to inventory their inner resources. We explore:
What has helped you get through dark nights of the soul in the past?
What does your body need?
Who do you trust to hold you with love when you are at your most vulnerable
What’s still going right (even when it feels like everything is going wrong)?
Sometimes we work together to create their Self Soothing kit. It’s such a vital life skill, this ability to tend to ourselves with tenderness when things are hard or overwhelming.
Assembling A Self Soothing Kit
The ideal time to put this together is when you are feeling resourced, so it’s there when you need it. Kind of like having an emergency kit in the trunk of your car. You hope you’ll never have to use it, but it’s reassuring to know it’s on hand.
Yes, I do recommend putting an actual box of objects together! Gather what’s meaningful for you. It doesn’t have to cost much, but please DO make it lovely. You are worthy of compassionate self-care.
SOME SUGGESTIONS:
1. Uplifting Scents
Sprays and mists provide a refreshing “quick hit,” while essential oils can be used in a variety of ways
You might try: lavender for stress relief & relaxation; lemon to uplift and dispel heavy or dark energies; lemongrass for clarity; geranium or rose to improve mood. Explore and discover scents you love!
2. Soothing Soundscapes
I have playlists set up for a variety of situations: to support my wounded inner child, to safely rock out anger, and to ride the waves of melancholy
Guided meditations help me come back home to my solid center. Some of my go-to’s include: Root Chakra: I Am Here by Leah Guy and Tibetan singing bowl tracks by Sonic Yogi
3. Light Sources
Candles have the power to shift the gloom of endless night into a sense of coziness and warmth
Strings of twinkle lights aren’t just for kids – I flip them on when I’m feeling low and my environment suddenly becomes just a bit more magical
3. Inspiration
A book of daily quotes offers a quick hit with your morning coffee to begin the day with intention. I like:
Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie
The Celtic Spirit by Caitlin Matthews
Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much by Anne Wilson Schaef
This year, I’m enjoying a new one gifted to me by a dear friend: The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo
Journal. Get a gorgeous one – your thoughts and ideas are worth it
Deck of tarot or oracle cards. There are so many fun ones to choose from – explore to find the artwork and themes that resonate for you
4. Gratitude Journal
You’ve likely heard this one before, but have you tried it? It sounds kinda hokey but boy does it work.
The benefits of a gratitude practice have been well documented, and include “greater neural sensitivity in the medial prefrontal cortex, a brain area associated with learning and decision making.” (How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain, Greater Good Magazine 2017)
Here’s what I do: each night I write down 1 thing from my day that moved me, inspired me, or made me smile. (No repeats.) A word. A phrase. A bullet list. That's it.
The key is to do it regularly to get the goods.
I remember that during the worst year of my life, there was only ONE day out of 365 when I simply could not think of a single good thing to write down. That in itself was a profound learning. Even in the worst of times, everyday life reliably contains moments of connection, transcendence and joy.
If you do just one thing, make it this.
5. Creativity
Colored pens and pencils
Art paper or a coloring book
Project supplies – create your own adventure. Are you a knitter? Enjoy beading? Always wanted to learn how to play the ukulele? Get yourself something new to do that’s tactile and feels like PLAY.
The Artists Way by Julia Cameron is a classic for stimulating creativity. You don’t need to consider yourself an “artist” to dive in and benefit from the practices here.
Want to create while nourishing connection? Consider art dates.
This past year, a friend made it her mission to cajole me into more artistic expression. Every few months, we have a Creativity Day – time set aside to get together, spread out our art supplies, and make shit. Sometimes it’s a collage, or maybe we mess around with stitching or watercolors. The objective isn’t to produce something I’ll hang up on my wall. It’s just to have fun and explore creativity without an agenda. (And feed our friendship!)
6. Crystal Friends
OK… I swore I’d never become a crystal lady, but I’ve been schooled.
I believe in experimentation, and trusting in what works. And here’s what I’ve found: holding stones does something for my nervous system. The very act of reaching for this support is itself an act of self-care. It’s a way of signaling to myself that I deserve to feel better, and that I know how to ask for what I need.
Here’s what I’ve learned works for me. If this resource intrigues you, experiment to see what impact different crystals and stones have for you.
Clear quartz is a handy go-to for a variety of situations. It’s the multi-tasker of the crystal family
Smoky quartz grounds me when I’m anxious, worried, or lost in runaway thoughts
Ocean jasper is like a big warm maternal hug. I reach for it when I need to feel safe, held, loved or soothed
Amazonite supports me in summoning self-respect, worthiness, and setting healthy boundaries
Moss agate helps with emotional balance and with breaking habits, addictions or patterns that aren’t helpful to me
This time of year reminds me that darkness is a necessary companion to the light.
We can’t experience one without the other. Even on the coldest night we can count on the fact that the wheel is always turning. Darkness eventually gives way, if only for a few extra minutes each day, to the light.
If you’re in a bright period right now, celebrate!
We’re here to drink the marrow of life, and to revel in its beauty.
And also, I’d invite you to consider how your light can serve as a beacon. How can your good fortune, your inspiration, your hopefulness shine like the sun in the spaces and places around you?
The time to emerge from our winter caves is long overdue. Where might you extend a hand, or sprinkle some of your glorious pixie dust? Who in your world might benefit from your presence?
The ultimate form of self (and community) care is connection. Perhaps that looks like extending an invitation to a friend to join you for a movie night or an art date, or to go on a walk and explore the early signs of spring together.
We weren't built to do life alone.