I'm Not Going Back to "How Things Were" - Are You?
Are we ready for what’s next?
I’ve felt the pace of virtually everything quickening over the last few months - both inside myself, and within the world all around me. If I close my eyes and listen carefully, I can almost hear the phrase “It’s GO time!” echoing on repeat in my head.
But what does it portend? And more importantly - am I ready for the surge that’s coming?
As we collectively stumble our way through another round of “the world opening back up,” I’ve been reflecting on what it means to consciously emerge. To transition from one state of being to another.
It’s disorienting, for one thing.
The particulars of our stories over the past two years may be different, but the feelings are similar. Like a caterpillar entering its cocoon, many of us have melted down into goo at some point along the way. Some aspects of our lives slowed down, got more concentrated, or clarified. Others got bigger, more unwieldy, or otherwise confusing.
Now here's what IS certain: you’re not alone in the process.
We’ve all been traversing this in-between space together. Thrust headfirst into the messy process of reconstituting, morphing, and evolving – whether we were ready for it or not. None of us will come through this rite of passage unchanged.
We are no longer who we were before the pandemic began. Still unsure about who we will become on the other side.
There are moments when this experience seems like a ceremony that will never end. Like the protracted church services that I sat through as a child every Sunday. (I have to be here. I don’t want to be here. OK, I’m here. What can I discover about myself and what I value while I’m here?)
Believe me when I say that it WILL end. All things do. Just as there was a “before,” there will be an “after.” So before the cocoon bursts all the way open, it’s time to decide what you want to become.
When we don’t actively decide, life decides for us.
For most of us, what this means is that our social conditioning kicks in and does the choosing. We march in time to our “shoulds”, obligations, old habits, and the status quo.
When we operate on autopilot, the results aren’t usually very satisfying. I’m already seeing it happen, both for myself and with my coaching clients. Increased requests, demands, obligations, and expectations are pouring in at an astonishing rate.
I see so many of us saying “Yes” with a smile, while inwardly cringing.
The reasons?
Everyone else is willing to.
It’s what people expect from me.
I don’t want to be difficult.
It’s how I’ve always done things.
I’ll lose my position/relationship/job/status if I don’t.
My boss, partner, friends, kids want…
STOP. PAUSE. CONSIDER.
When I dig into these “reasons” with my clients, what we often find are stories. Stories about how they are supposed to show up in the world. Stories driven by fear, outdated beliefs, or the longing to belong. The real driver behind these expectations is almost always internal. A desire to please. A fear of conflict. Social conditioning – especially for women – around being accommodating to the point of self-annihilation.
When we investigate, there is usually little external evidence to support those stories. And when we run some experiments, what my clients have found is they don’t lose the status, job, relationship, or XYZ when they scale back or make changes.
It’s all too easy to go into autopilot, responding to the push that the world “return to normal already.” Jumping into your former life, without asking yourself whether you still want it. But what was “normal,” and WHO was it really working for?
Now is the time to take stock of what you’ve learned - about yourself, and how you prefer to live your life. What’s changed inside you, and what that means for YOUR future.
What kind of world do you want to step back into?
We’re standing on an unprecedented threshold as a society. Together we have a chance to create something different… if we want to.
Asking for what we desire requires imagination, fortitude, and courage. If you want to live in ways that feel joyful rather than depleting, you’ll have to make some bold requests of life. You’ll need to take some calculated risks. And before doing so, it’s imperative that you are very clear about what you want... and what you don't. Otherwise, the momentum of everyday life and its demands WILL decide for you.
So let’s talk about what it looks like to “consciously emerge.”
How can we honor the pandemic experience as the ceremony it is, and give it right closure?
What have you learned about yourself, and the world?
What needs grieving?
What can you celebrate?
How do you want to do things differently?
What rituals can you perform to seal your learnings and intentions before stepping fully back into society?
For a self-guided ritual, you can take the questions above as a jumping off point. Use them as journal prompts, or as the basis of a tarot/oracle card spread.
Want A Partner In the Process?
If you’d like a soul companion to walk beside you on your path, consider a complimentary 45 minute call to see if working with me might be a fit. I’d love to make some magic together!