In May 2020, I took a wild leap of faith and did something that completely terrified me. In the midst of a global pandemic, I quit a stable job and exited my 20+ year career in nonprofit management. No playbook, roadmap, or guarantees in sight.

Did I know at the start of 2020 that this was where my life was headed?

Not explicitly. But somewhere deep within, I felt it coming. I’d been burning the candle at both ends for several years at that point, moonlighting as a coach, pursuing my own deep healing work, and advancing my spiritual studies.

I was driven by a voice I could not name, compelled to explore trails leading off the path I’d so carefully laid out for my life. What can I say? It felt like a beacon had been turned on in my chest and there wasn't much of a choice in the matter but to follow it.

I often said during those years, “It feels like my soul has been called up for active duty, but I don’t know what the mission is or where to report in for boot camp.” The sensation was both compelling and confusing.

Now here’s the thing: another part of me resisted “The Call” with equal and opposite force.

The pragmatic strategist inside my head could not see the logic in any of this. It scoffed at the notion of a “calling”. This was the stuff of myth, bedtime stories, and Hollywood blockbusters. Not MY life. All the years I’d dedicated to advancing my career and building a life I was finally starting to enjoy… just give it all up? Huh?

Girl, that’s crazy talk.

The push and pull of these competing interests nearly tore me apart.

I suffered a major medical meltdown in the weeks before COVID hit, and spun unwillingly into the fire of transformation. When I think back on that period, I can almost hear the gravely warning of The Red Woman from Game of Thrones:

That’s the raw truth about “Transformation”, my friends. SOMETIMES, IT SEARS.

Thing is, we don’t always go willingly, even if what’s on the other side of those flames is for our highest good. Often, change is catalyzed by outside forces - we didn’t “invite" it, we’re just scrambling to keep up.

In my case, I truly did want The Big Change. There was part of me that had been intentionally laying the groundwork for years. But anoher part of me was equally terrified to leave my perception of “safety” behind. Turns out I just needed one final shove. (Er, thank you COVID?)

Courage often looks different than we think.

What I’ve learned from both my own life as well as in my work with clients is that the formula for bravery is exactly as author Susan Jeffers says:

“Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

So often during the past year, it was YOU who made me brave. Your notes, referrals, patronage, and trust in my work spurred me forward. I want to profoundly thank you for this, and share some of the beauty I’ve found from my clients in return. May they inspire you as they’ve inspired me.

During a period of unprecedented global uncertainty and fear, I’ve had the privilege to walk beside the truly LIONHEARTED:

Over 6 months, a young man I’m working with has defined and deeply explored his personal values, and how to embody them more fully in his everyday life. I cannot imagine having been this wise and intentional at 30!

Several visionary executives I work with have truly doubled down on their commitment to heart-centered leadership over this past year. Holding their teams with grace and empathy, they’re using their power to actively question the dehumanizing aspects of our modern work culture, seeking to model something entirely new. They are going places I only dreamed possible during my own tenure as a nonprofit executive.

A couple clients have found ways to understand and collaborate with their inner critic and fear so that it is no longer Driving Their Bus! They’re finding clarity around what they REALLY want, getting unstuck, and taking decisive action on new business ideas, careers, and lifestyle changes that speak to their soul. In less than a year, I’ve witnessed them identifying and overcoming roadblocks that took me nearly a decade to bushwack my way around!

And holy shit, my tarot clients have been asking the juiciest questions! These readings seriously give me the chills. Rather than reaching for an external sense of certainty in uncertain times (“Tell me what will happen in my future”), they’re mining for the gold of self-awareness and personal accountability. Delicious, rich questions like: “What subconscious beliefs or patterns am I playing out that are not serving me?” and “What do I need to understand, or learn from this relationship/situation/setback?”

**One year ago, I had no idea what would happen when I quit my really good job.**

It wasn't a torture chamber. Quite the opposite in fact: I was working for an inspiring cause, with smart, kind, wonderful people. But just like my clients, my soul needed something different. It was simply time to take that leap of faith into yet another Phoenix Burn-and-Rise cycle in my own life.

(And hot damn, you’d think it gets more comfortable with practice… but it never really does.)

I’ve learned that having a trusted coach or mentor by my side makes the process go more smoothly - like having a midwife attending a birth. And yes, friends, I walk the talk! I have a coach, and meet regularly with a mentor who prods me when I need it, loves me in my messy humanness, and helps me see my own strength and courage on those days when I can’t find my own ass from a hole in the ground.

It’s such an honor to have fully stepped into my life’s work, and to be held by a supportive team as I do so.

With every newsletter and blog I write, I hope that my words may be of service to you. I tell you these stories because we are the same, you and I. We all have soul-level dreams and longings. And if I can bust through sticky, gritty, stubborn layers of doubt, fear and uncertainty to follow mine, then dear one you can too. Of this I have absolutely no doubt.

It’s such an honor to be in this place, at this time, alongside you.

May we rise together.

looking for A PARTNER TO HELP EXPLORE YOUR SOUL’S LONGINGS?

The decision to work with a mentor was hands down the best gift I ever gave myself. I’m not sure if I would have pushed through the layers of fear, resistence, or doubt that have cropped up along the way without her steady presence. Change happens in stages, and in coaching we take it step by step. Together.

If you’d like a soul companion to walk beside you on your path, consider a complimentary call to see if working with me might be a fit. I’d love to make some magic together!

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