Baptized By Fire, Flowing Like Water
Photo courtesy of Nikita Velikanin, Unsplash
This year marks the 10th anniversary of my descent into the flames. I didn’t know it at the time, but the day my first husband left me was the start of a decade-long apprenticeship with Fire.
What began as a traumatic unravelling ultimately changed the course of my life. From that initial headlong plunge into shock, grief, and rage, I slowly found my way back home to myself.
I chose to be reborn.
One of Fire’s earliest lessons for me was gratitude. Strange, but true. A demanding teacher, it asked me to cultivate genuine appreciation for all that still remained after my life burned to the ground. Wasn’t easy at first - like blowing on dying embers to reignite a spark. But the more I practiced… every day for 2 long years… the more treasures I discovered.
More lessons came from there:
Grit.
Resilience.
Self Efficacy.
Hope.
Passion.
Joy.
Betrayal.
Exhaustion.
Surrender.
Creativity.
Trust.
Fire is intense.
I’ve burned more than once along the way. Smoking out what doesn’t serve me, letting old selves die.
And now, a decade later, I can sense the season is changing.
Again, I’ve found myself filled with a profound sense of gratitude in a time of uncertainty and unimagined hardship. A new teacher is calling me in.
Fire is giving way to Water.
As that hot sun sets, the cool moon rises.
In preparation to answer her call, I offer gratitude for the gifts Fire has given me: the lessons, the scars, and the healing. I know now that we are ever in its cycles of rising, burning, and rising again.
And so a new apprenticeship begins today, as I pledge myself to Water and her mysteries: